Wow! It's been a while since I visited this little space of me. And a lot has been going on that I should probably catch ya'll up on.
I returned to work on January 19th. And it's been HARD. Like REALLY hard. For so many different reasons. Matt and I have been struggling these last 2 weeks...trying to figure things out...trying to get into some sort of routine....just trying to survive each day. Being a working momma ain't for the faint of heart. It's hard - in fact, way harder than I expected. And the hubs and I are both struggling with the fact that this is what we have to do.
I, especially, have had a difficult time making this transition. I LOVED being home with my little guy. And I wish I could stay home with him - or even work part time. But I can't. And I've had many breakdowns these last couple weeks. I get so overwhelmed with everything. I'm so incredibly jealous of people that have options after they have kids. Why can't that be us? Why can't we just get a break one of these days? Why do I have to work? If I have to work, why can't I love what I'm doing? Why can't one thing be easy for us? It all gets to be too much at times.
Having a baby was the easy part. It's the rest of the stuff that's hard. It's hard not being able to spend the time you want to with your baby. It's hard realizing that someone else is basically raising your child. It's hard not to feel overwhelmed when there's so much to juggle and so few hours in a day. It's hard that everything changes all at once. It's hard not to compare to others when your life isn't how you want it to be but it seems like everyone else's is. But we've gotta keep pluggin' away. Taking things day by day. And doing the best we can with what we've been dealt with at the moment.
Hopefully, as time goes on we get into the swing of things better. Being a parent isn't easy. Juggling all things in life is a constant battle. We'll make misakes. We'll screw up. We'll 'live and learn.' I've just gotta learn to deal with the cards that have been dealt to us and to roll with the punches.
I know this is sort of a downer post. But you know - this is real life. And I want this space to be REAL. I don't want a pity party. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us. That's not what this post is all about. It's about true life...
But there's also a lot of good in true life. Like these two...
...my everything right there <3
Happy Friday and have a FANTASTIC weekend!!
Hey ~ I'm Renée...just your ordinary, 30-something Accountant, new mommy, wife, runner, foodie, & Pinterest addict! Welcome to my newest adventure...stay awhile...look around...and keep comin' back!