I've been running for 4 years. I've ran 4 half marathons and 1 full marathon. I've ran a bunch of 5ks and 10ks. And one day, my goal is to do an ultra.
Running is just my thing. I'm certainly not fast (in fact most days I'd consider myself a jogger and not a runner). I don't do it for anyone but me. Running relaxes me. I love when I can get outside and run away the stress of life. I love how I feel after a run - especially after a run I 'didn't feel like' going on. It's my 'me time'. I can think about anything and everything. Or I can think about nothing at all. When I'm running - I'm just me. So it's no surprise that when I got pregnant I continued to run. In fact I ran my 4th half marathon when I was 11 and 1/2 weeks pregnant. I figured I'd be able to run throughout my entire pregnancy. I knew I'd have to slow down. I knew it'd get harder. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up my weekly mileage. But all that was OK - so long as I was still running...still getting a couple 3 mile runs in each week. I had high hopes of running a half marathon at the end of September - at 32 and 1/2 weeks pregnant (figuring I'd be running/walking the entire thing.) As long as I was running I'd be happy. I never expected to hear a physical therapist tell me 'no more running' when I was only 25 weeks pregnant. That's right. I haven't gone on a run in almost 7 weeks. SPD took that away from me (if you don't know what that is...google it.) It hasn't been easy. I feel like I let myself down. I feel like my body failed me when I had been doing everything right. I WANTED to be able to run my entire pregnancy - more than anything!!!! I knew it'd help me in more ways than one. I wanted to inspire other people. I wanted to do what I loved all while growing a little baby inside of me. So having this taken away from me was HARD. I mean REALLY hard. I got upset. Depressed. Angry. Frustrated. Jealous. Annoyed. And to this day, I still have most of these feelings. It's been a hard pill to swallow. Call is selfish. Call it what you want. But that's how I feel. I knew I had to listen to my therapist and not run at all - even on a good day when I felt like I could push through the pain and get 3 miles in. I wanted this to be temporary and knew if I pushed through the pain and continued to run it'd become a permanent thing. Not what I wanted at all. So I sucked it up and the elliptical and bike have become my new best friends (which I can't wait to end those relationships - they're So boring ha-ha!) I miss running so much. For so many reasons. It was taken away from me too early on. And yet, I know it's just temporary. And not running is the best thing right now for my body and my baby. I have to keep reminding myself of this. And I have to be grateful that I'm still able to workout (but, boy, am I sick of the elliptical and bike!) Is it hard?! Absolutely. Am I counting down the days until I can run again? YOU BEST BELIEVE IT.
1 Comment
Morgan
9/13/2014 02:54:56 am
Hey Renee! I just wanted to tell you I really admire you for posting this. We are all human and being honest is hard but as much as an un-pregnant person can relate to you I feel like this will totally be me! It is so hard to give up something that makes you feel physically and mentally stronger. Sending you strength and hugs pretty girl<3
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AuthorHey ~ I'm Renée...just your ordinary, 30-something Accountant, new mommy, wife, runner, foodie, & Pinterest addict! Welcome to my newest adventure...stay awhile...look around...and keep comin' back! Archives
January 2018
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